The Idea of Suicide

Today I learned a friend of mine apparently chose to end life abruptly. Even though this person was known to wrestle with many dark and difficult personal issues, it was a surprise nonetheless.

For all my metaphysical and spiritual desires and teachings and lessons, I have yet to sort out how I feel about suicide (as if I have to…). I have never had the desire.

Over the years I have heard opinions. Many religions consider it a sin but I have thoroughly rejected the idea that “we are bad because we have sinned and need to be punished.” Some religions believe we are not permitted to reject the life God has given us, but I do not believe in such a jealous and petty God. When you return to the original languages of the Holy Bible, the word sin just translates as “to miss the point, to make an error in judgment,” and that is what I see sin as.

I knew a man who thought suicides were courageous people, brave enough to give a big F.U. to life. The notion startled me, but I would say, based on the public domain suicide notes I have read, they don’t sound like brave or courageous people. They all seem to be in some kind of pain, physically, emotionally and/or mentally, and are unable and/or unwilling to carry on anymore.

For a long time I used to get very angry at people who took their own life. I thought of them as quitters and cowards, which is just the opposite of what the person in the previous paragraph thought. My opinion wasn’t any better than his. Perhaps I felt resentment that they got to quit? Or perhaps I empathized with those left behind still alive. I have come to realize how cold an opinion I was holding. People still alive will always champion the idea of living, but you need to be careful not to label death as a failure.

I am also a firm believer that we create our own reality, but I still struggle with accepting other people’s creations.

And some of us commit suicide in very slow motion. Individually many of us overeat, smoke cigarettes, drink too much, etc. And even at times, as a society, instead of cooperating we work at cross-purposes with no compromise. We often think destroying our enemies, or banning the views of people we disagree with, is a proper solution, but all that does is suppress and limit choices.

A philosopher I admire once said that fanatics become fanatics when they close door after door of opportunity, until there is only one available and approved course of action, so when a crisis arises, they have only one choice. And, in a way, I would imagine suicides feel the same way, closing doors until finally deciding ending life is the only possible solution.

I still don’t understand suicide, but whatever you do, keep your doors open.


  1. Anonymous says:

    i’m trying to live for my mom I don’t want to cause to her more pain but I really want to dye my life is everyday pain I don’t have any hope live is like a torture for me rightnow!

    1. Dear Anonymous… You don’t say what kind of pain you are in… is it physical or emotional? Can you talk to a doctor about the physical pain? A therapist about the emotional pain? You may have tried these things already… but I hope you keep looking for n answer or a solution that can keep you going…

  2. Sometimes we don’t realize when we close the doors until it’s too late.

  3. Suzanne says:

    Tony, I am with you when you say

    “For all my metaphysical and spiritual desires and teachings and lessons, I have yet to sort out how I feel about suicide (as if I have to…). I have never had the desire.”

    Especially now, thinking of our friend, I am trying to sort my feelings on the subject. I like the point you made that some of us commit suicide in slow motion. Lots to think about. Thanks for your thoughts.

  4. Violet Hour Muse says:

    I have certainly been in that dark void of feeling too miserable to live, yet too curious to die…… None of us knows what another Soul is here to bear or learn in their current lifetime…… Indeed, many many many commit ‘passive’ suicide, yet would deny they were glamoured by death if you confronted them. I never underestimate the power of denial. I feel those who walk through the door are tired of denying how they feel and living in a world, where denying your feelings, your authenticity is valued……..

  5. as someone who has been suicidal and got as far as thinking how I was going to do it I will give you mty point of view.

    Many people do not realize that emotional pain is real and actually hurts as if you have a physical pain.

    Basically the pain is so bad and there is no hope of release that death becomes the only viable option.

    I mean isn’t that the same reasons we put a sick dog down? So that they won’t have to suffer?

    You don’t think about dying, you just want the pain to stop.

    I hope that helps.

    And I am sorry for your loss.



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