I have a client who has been going through a lot of inner emotional turmoil & transformation recently, as indicated by Mars doing its recent retrograde (Dec 20, 2009 – March 10, 2010) through her 4th house, and crossing her Uranus, Moon, & Pluto. And, it’s not quite over yet for her, but instead of really dealing with the issues this symbolized in her life, she has been trying to hunker down, adopting a wait-it-out “under siege” mentality. Recently she asked me “When will it finally be over?” and I got a little testy & sanctimonious, and in high dudgeon I said, “You’re not supposed to be ‘waiting until it’s over.’ You’re supposed to DO something with it.” (No one can do sanctimonious & high dudgeon quite like a self-righteous Capricorn.)
She has resisted dealing with her inner turmoil, and over the years I have found if you don’t deal with it, it gets dealt to you. As a result, issues connected with, and indicated, by the Mars transit, have been happening to her, in her life, her family & her health.
And even leaving the symbolism of astrology behind, I tend to see this pattern play out in people’s lives. Have trouble expressing anger? You may find yourself with an angry spouse or angry bosses. Do you shun responsibility? If you try to steer clear of taking it on, it may get dumped on you. So really, it is in each and every one of our best interests to face stuff head on. Isn’t it better to cope with things on our terms, instead of “their” terms?
Sounds good, right? But I don’t do much better than anyone else. It’s easy to be sanctimonious with my clients, (see above) but even easier to forgive myself. I started this blog concerned about writing something once every week, so I wrote four posts before I launched it, expecting to have a nice cushion. Needless to say, the backlog is gone, and I post later and later every Tuesday (Why did I name it Cosmic Tuesdays?) Last week I posted it Wednesday, 2am, NYC time, but consoled myself it was still Tuesday in California. And although I started writing this one at 1pm Tuesday afternoon, I will have to use a Hawaiian time zone to claim it is still a “Cosmic Tuesday” when I finally post it. And it’s not like I don’t have ideas for the blogs beforehand. I write them in my head beforehand over & over.
What is it about procrastination? What do we get out of it? Is it spite? A false sense of power & freedom? Is it delayed gratification? I can understand procrastinating on a job someone else wants you to do, but no one made me start a blog. I like writing it, when I finally do it. And I believe there is always something just as interesting waiting for you to do when you finish what you already have…
So I have a question: if you procrastinate, what is it you get out of it? Why do you do it?