I take my health issues personally. I believe healing has to be accompanied by an investigation of why I am ill, both emotionally & spiritually, or the healing will not “take” as well as it could, and will probably return. And recently I uncovered a health issue that took some far-sighted examination.
Apparently, it turns out, I don’t know how to sleep. I discovered this after my doctor ordered a sleep study to see if I had apnea. I was “observed” all night a sleep clinic, with electrodes planted all over my head and face, attached to wires and leading back to monitoring devices. The data was sent to my doctor.
My first response was to resist. I have a knee-jerk reaction when I deal with modern medicine, even though I know “knee-jerk” is a poor response. I believe modern medicine tends to treat symptoms instead of actually healing, and though I see gradual signs of change to that attitude, many of the questions on the health history form seemed to bear out my skepticism. My sleep habits were examined as if there was only one “normal’ way to sleep. I am generally opposed to the idea of normal. For almost all of my life I have had 5 to 6 hours at night with a couple of naps during the day, and I have always maintained that, even when working 9 to 5. I tried to follow the Zen precept “When hungry, eat; when tired, sleep.”
I still think my sleep patterns are an acceptable discipline, but I have severe sleep apnea according to the tests. If a person stops breathing often enough while they sleep, for anywhere from a few seconds to a minute, it is defined as sleep apnea. And the doc showed me, I was not getting enough R.E.M. sleep due to it. OK. Now I had something to care about. R.E.M. sleep is sacred to me.
I took a new look at my astrological birth chart. I am not by definition a “medical” astrologer (some people specialize) but I know enough. I do not believe a chart can predict an illness, but it will show you a person’s most likely way to get ill. And so I looked at my Mercury (nerves, lungs, thoughts) opposing Uranus (chaos, surprise, the unexpected) and both were squaring Neptune (the spiritual but also the unseen, the ephemeral). OK. I saw the potential illness in that… a long term disruptive but unnoticed or misunderstood condition affecting my health. Hmm. OK.
So why now? Why did I finally discover/accept this now? Well, since it is a Mercury-related medical condition, it made sense that the sleep study and follow-up doctor’s appointment occurred while it was retrograde. But Mercury’s retro 3x a year. Why after 40 years or so, do I uncover this now?
A Seth quote came to mind: “The more fully you learn to live, the more the seemingly hidden mysteries of the universe begin to appear,” from The Way Toward Health (where else, right?). And this year has been an important one to me personally, as I am pushing myself further down my chosen path, taking some risks and moving forward. For the first time this year I gave a talk on The Seth Material. This weekend, for the first time, I am participating in the Grounded Energy Expo (see below) this weekend, lecturing on astrology and giving short spontaneous birth chart readings. So I am living more fully and the hidden restraints of sleep apnea were uncovered for me. I will take the physical medical steps necessary to heal myself. Why have I been denying myself R.E.M. sleep all these years? I will have to work that one out still.
It is never too late to grow, evolve and get healthier.
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UPCOMING EVENT: I will be giving a short 20 minute talk on astrology, and offering short astrology readings at The Grounded Energy Expo on Sunday, September 12th, 1pm to 5pm at 34 West 27th Street, 11th Floor, NY, NY. Admission is $10.00, cash only. I am one of the co-sponsors of this event, whose motto is “Connecting far-out ideas to down-to-earth people.” Additional talks will cover Palmistry, Tarot, and The Laws of Attraction. There will be also be Astrology, Palmistry, Tarot, Psychic Readings, Reiki & Yuen Method services available too, for additional fees.
If you have a Facebook account this link will take you to the full details.