Recently a friend of mine called me, upset that her daughter was getting divorced. She wanted to try to talk the couple into working it out somehow. Based on the comments she ascribed to both husband and wife, it was pretty clear to me as an impartial listener that this particular marriage was over, dead and buried. I said as much to her, and she asked, perhaps rhetorically, “Well, what am I supposed to do?” Honestly, I was completely clueless at this point but I opened my mouth and said, “Love her. Support her in her decision. Be there to listen. It’s all you can do.” I was a little surprised at what I said. It seemed profound in the moment but also a little trite and maybe a pinch hopeless. That’s it? That’s an answer? But it seemed to make sense to my friend…
A few months ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with a pretty serious medical condition. It’s the type of condition that can go either way, with no promise of which direction when one is diagnosed. Since I had taken Level I reiki attunement this past January, and was told to go out and reiki 30 or more people before I seek Level II, I offered to reiki my friend regularly, to help encourage him to heal himself. He was seeking mainstream medical help, but was very open to the idea of including alternate treatments, too. I have spent the last few months seeing him at least once a week, sometimes solo and sometimes with another friend of his who is a reiki master. Until this point in my reiki experience, all the reiki I did was as a one-shot deal to mostly strangers. This was a whole new ball game. I am deeply emotionally involved in this. I didn’t just want to offer reiki, I wanted to save him. I wanted to have super powers or some mystic ability so that I could wave my hands and say, “Arise, whole and healthy!”
But I don’t. And I can’t. I can only reiki him, and my teacher told me we cannot direct reiki energy; we have to let reiki set its own way. I felt, at first, kind of helpless and a little hopeless. I thought, “What can I really do here?” But then what I said to my other friend a few months ago, about her daughter’s divorce, came flowing back to me, “Love… support… listen… it’s all you can do,” and I felt humbled and empowered in the same moment.
I have always had issues of control, and I understood in the moment that believing I had to control things separated me from the world. All I have for him is love, and whatever I can do for him as he copes, whether it is regular reiki, or any other favors I can do, is an expression of that love. And the only “control” I truly have over the reiki is to offer it to him, and trust him to do with it what he needs to do. To truly love anything, to use love in all its power, you really have to let go of your control and offer love freely and without conditions, without control. Love is all we really have, and it’s enough.
So he is doing quite well. He is responding to both medicine and reiki. I was in the hospital after his last op, and I watched as his heart monitor showed his pulse dropping from 66 to 52 as I was giving him reiki. He is positive and buoyant.
And love… love is a very important part of healing, maybe the most important part.
I think this is something we will be learning as Saturn passes through Scorpio – discovering what is within our control and what isn’t. It’s very hard though, especially when emotionally touched by the plight of someone close. I totally understand your initial reaction with giving reiki to your friend.
To me love is healing and healing is love.
Beautiful, thoughtful post. Healing blessings to your friend.
Yeah, and Saturn in Scorpio is also my second Saturn Return… I will be learning… 😀
I loved this posting! It is spot on, and well said. If you read (really read) the message of the great spiritual teachers, from Jesus to Muhammed to Buddha and Seth too, their message boils down to the same thing: love. We need to hear this message! One problem is that the heart has to break open, truly and painfully, for us to get this message- and boy, the ego will resist that one over and over again. When we live through loss and pain, like watching a friend with cancer, or losing a friend, parent, sibling, child, lover, we can either close up in anger and loss or open up in love. Thank you for the gift of this post, and for the gift of reiki and love that you give to your friend(s)!
lovely words as I am dealing with a close friend who just passed away last Sunday..all I can really do is remember the love and light this person brought to the world…….
Tony….My Dad used to say that God and Love were synonymous. Still, when I used to hear “Let Go, Let God”, I would feel like I was just giving up, that I was helpless and the the situation was hopeless. It is all about control or feeling like you have nothing to give.
These feelings, that I experience over and over again in lifes trying times support your point of view here. Somewhere along the line, we do learn that Love is really all there is..and you are right ..in the end it is enough. I learned that with my sisters early death.
I think the key is that we do have to search our conscience in many cases, make sure ego is not controling our actions, move to a place of pure heart…..from that place we need to do the righteous things in a situation, and then we need to just love. It is what my dad called “God’s Perfect Law of Adjustment” . Meditate or pray, whatever resonates with you, do what you can do and then just Love.
You are right. What follows can be amazing. We just have to back down sometimes. It can’t always be about what we want, or the agenda we think is best.
I loved this piece. It is so hard to remember these things when our hearts are breaking and we want to save the people we care for…even when we know we can’t save them. Your reminder here is, it isn’t our job to save them. It is our job to Love them….and we can show our love in many ways.
I love that you have reiki as a love offering. More I just love your steadfastness, your ability to listen and to share, your friendship, your wisdom..all of these things are gifts of Love. I love that you know love is enough..and that you are there to remind us of this.
Thanks for writing this article.
Thank you for your lovely, thoughtful and well-considered comment!