Recently a friend of mine called me, upset that her daughter was getting divorced. She wanted to try to talk the couple into working it out somehow. Based on the comments she ascribed to both husband and wife, it was pretty clear to me as an impartial listener that this particular marriage was over, dead and buried. I said as much to her, and she asked, perhaps rhetorically, “Well, what am I supposed to do?” Honestly, I was completely clueless at this point but I opened my mouth and said, “Love her. Support her in her decision. Be there to listen. It’s all you can do.” I was a little surprised at what I said. It seemed profound in the moment but also a little trite and maybe a pinch hopeless. That’s it? That’s an answer? But it seemed to make sense to my friend…
A few months ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with a pretty serious medical condition. It’s the type of condition that can go either way, with no promise of which direction when one is diagnosed. Since I had taken Level I reiki attunement this past January, and was told to go out and reiki 30 or more people before I seek Level II, I offered to reiki my friend regularly, to help encourage him to heal himself. He was seeking mainstream medical help, but was very open to the idea of including alternate treatments, too. I have spent the last few months seeing him at least once a week, sometimes solo and sometimes with another friend of his who is a reiki master. Until this point in my reiki experience, all the reiki I did was as a one-shot deal to mostly strangers. This was a whole new ball game. I am deeply emotionally involved in this. I didn’t just want to offer reiki, I wanted to save him. I wanted to have super powers or some mystic ability so that I could wave my hands and say, “Arise, whole and healthy!”
But I don’t. And I can’t. I can only reiki him, and my teacher told me we cannot direct reiki energy; we have to let reiki set its own way. I felt, at first, kind of helpless and a little hopeless. I thought, “What can I really do here?” But then what I said to my other friend a few months ago, about her daughter’s divorce, came flowing back to me, “Love… support… listen… it’s all you can do,” and I felt humbled and empowered in the same moment.
I have always had issues of control, and I understood in the moment that believing I had to control things separated me from the world. All I have for him is love, and whatever I can do for him as he copes, whether it is regular reiki, or any other favors I can do, is an expression of that love. And the only “control” I truly have over the reiki is to offer it to him, and trust him to do with it what he needs to do. To truly love anything, to use love in all its power, you really have to let go of your control and offer love freely and without conditions, without control. Love is all we really have, and it’s enough.
So he is doing quite well. He is responding to both medicine and reiki. I was in the hospital after his last op, and I watched as his heart monitor showed his pulse dropping from 66 to 52 as I was giving him reiki. He is positive and buoyant.
And love… love is a very important part of healing, maybe the most important part.