Fighting With My Higher Self (& How I Answered Myself)

Saturday two weekends ago I ended up paying for some dog food I had expected to get for free, as a favor. The store owner was not in and his help didn’t understand, but since I was donating the food to a neighbor having troubles making ends meet, I kept my grumbles to myself and dropped off the food at her building.

This same neighbor called my wife & I Sunday morning and asked for advice about what to do. Daisy was one of her two dogs, a medium size border collie mix, but had been ill. When I got there, Daisy was way too thin and I was upset I was not told sooner. She was going to let Daisy die at home. Daisy had not eaten in 7 days or drank water in 2. Hadn’t walked in a few days. I was so angry. Daisy could have lingered for days. I wrapped her in a blanket, got a cab and took her to a 24/7 vet hospital over on the East Side. I told them she was a neighbor’s dog so they wouldn’t think I was responsible for Daisy’s condition. I stayed with her and stroked her head during the process. I had walked the dog off & on as a favor for 4 years when the neighbor was ill. I knew Daisy well.

Afterwards, all day, though I had changed my clothes and showered, I would smell Daisy from time to time, and decided to assume her spirit was lingering around me. I was angry & sad & feeling petty when I left the vet’s. Daisy had suffered pointlessly. And because it was a Sunday, it cost me more than usual.

Walking back home I was muttering, cursing and crying a little. I felt awful. So I started talking to The Universe or All That Is or my Higher Self or God or call it what you will. I was mad, too. Said, “Why did I have to get stuck with this job? And why did I have to lay out the extra cash? And a cab ride?” Oh, I was petty…I went on for a bit, walked another block in silence, realized I was being a brat and said, “Ok. No one else would have handled it. Ok ok… I got that. I will do whatever I have to… someone has to do it… but… from now on I want more back up, see? And if I have to lay out money I need more money.” Still muttering and feeling putout, but calmer, I took the subway.

Before I got home I passed the pet store and the owner came out, called my name, asked what happened yesterday and I told him, but dismissed it as nothing. He gave me a case of dog food free. I started smiling. I got an answer that quick? I get up to my apartment and a professional colleague I hadn’t seen in years called me, needing someone to fill in freelancing for a few weeks. I called my wife and told her. She said it sounded like “the universe” gave me a stamped receipt for my request. And then…

Three days later when I got home and opened the mail, there was a small package from the vet who had performed the humane euthanasia. Inside was a small plaster cast of Daisy’s paw print. This was totally unexpected. In an enclosed card, he wrote, “Thank you for the dignity you gave Daisy. She was lucky to have you in her life. Please pass along the enclosed to her owner.” I was so touched by his gesture, and I was flattered, but a little embarrassed too at how little faith I had the previous weekend.

Like everyone else, from time to time, I guess I too need to learn the same lesson again…

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SPECIAL NOTE: On Friday August 20th, at 8pm, I will be giving a talk called “You Create Your Own Reality: The Lessons of the Seth Material & Ways To Apply Them To Your Life” for The Eyes Of Learning, in Hicksville, Long Island, NY. If you wish to attend, go to http://eyesoflearning.org/programs-and-events and scroll down to August 20th for details. ($10 members, $15 non-members) The Eyes of Learning Center is Long Island’s “oldest and most respected metaphysical learning center” and they always have interesting talks and demonstrations scheduled. If you live on Long Island, check them out.